no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
