I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
