Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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