Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
