Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
