Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
