i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize