yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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