i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
