I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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