The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize