Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
