I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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