benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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