Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
