Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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