If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he shaved USA in his pubs
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
