wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dick very happy bro
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
