Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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