Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
