Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
