In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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