its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
