remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
