I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
