i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize