You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
