The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Houston, we have a squirter
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
