I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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