the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
