I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
