Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
