I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
