Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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