Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
