"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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