We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
