Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize