I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
