actually, I'm a sock model
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
