I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
