he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize