Kareoke will never be a sober sport
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
