let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
