You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
