nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
