Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
