I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
