Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
