Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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