Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
