I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
