man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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