oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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