i think my mom watched the whole time
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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