I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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