how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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