my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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