Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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