oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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