I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
