sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm at about main and main street
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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