Don't you send me to vm
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
