He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
